Faye Lowe Dip. Integrative Counselling
(MNSC Prof Accred)
My name is Faye, and I am a counsellor based in Sidcup, Kent. I understand what it feels like to be struggling with life.
Sometimes life deals you things that are hard to cope with. This can lead to an internal struggle - you don't want to continue to feel the way you are feeling but you also don't know what you can do to change things. Reaching out for help can feel really hard because it leads to the acceptance that something is wrong and that something needs to change.
I am a warm, genuine, and compassionate person and I will support you through this change. You may be surprised to hear that counselling is often not what people think it is. There is often a view that you have to be seriously unwell to have therapy. Often people think that others have it much worse than them and therefore they shouldn't access therapy. Therapy can be so beneficial for many people. Lots of people struggle with their current situation such as relationships, work, self-esteem, and communication issues. Working through these issues can be so beneficial for your general health.
I will work with you in a way that you feel comfortable. I am a grounded person, not easily shocked and will sometimes add in a sprinkling of humour where appropriate. Having a good relationship with your counsellor is so important because you need that connection and understanding. I will take things at your pace.
I am passionate about the work that I do. I have always had an interest in counselling and thought that I would never become a counsellor. That was something that only those who have their stuff together can do, right? Actually, we are all human and we all have our own stuff that we are dealing with.
I experienced a really tough time in work, and I sought the help of a counsellor. Not only did it help me process my issues at work, but it also made me realise that actually I can work in a role that I am really passionate about. I personally know how transforming therapy can be and I want to help others in the way that I had been helped.
I work with a variety of different issues, but I specialise in trauma, childhood issues, attachment issues, anxiety and self-esteem.
Trauma - have you experienced a difficult time in your life? Did you have a childhood that you would have liked to have been different? Many people don't realise that these were actually traumatic events. Trauma comes on a continuum and whilst it involves the most serious, such as childhood sexual abuse, it also includes things like emotional neglect, loss and separation. This trauma often impacts us in a way we don't realise. Our brain recognises these events as unsafe and stored them deep in our memory, away from our consciousness. Our brain's can then become very hypervigilant, looking out for any signs of danger - when it thinks there is a danger, our defence mechanism's then kick in. This could be people pleasing, keeping our distance from people or experiencing anxiety that doesn't feel appropriate for the situation. If this feels familiar, therapy really can help and I can work with you to help you recognise your triggers and reduce your defence mechanisms in a safe way.
Anxieties – do you feel nervous a lot of the time? Do you have trouble sleeping? Maybe you have a sense of dread and that something bad is going to happen, but you can't put your finger on it.
Anxiety can be so debilitating but still we often keep it to ourselves - like a swan, graceful on the surface but underneath we are kicking those legs furiously to stay afloat. So why do you feel this way? Why do you feel like you are falling down a deep hole that you don't know how to climb out of.
Well, there can be a range of things that cause this - there may be a sequence of events such as your background, relationship issues, work issues. Or maybe there was one big traumatic event like a bereavement or a divorce.
Sometimes it's hard to move forward whilst not understanding the root of your anxiety. I can help you to untangle the range of emotions that you are experiencing and process each one. Once you have an idea as to what is going on, I can help you decide on a goal to move forward.
Self-esteem – do you ever feel like you are not good enough? That no matter what you do, you have that niggling voice of doubt. You may have been told that you must be a certain way to be acceptable. But maybe you are your own worst critic.
Friends, family and colleagues can sing your praises, but you just don't truly believe them. Ninety-nine compliments don't register but that one criticism knocks you sideways.
This can be so draining! It means that you don't speak up for yourself for the fear of people seeing the real you. Maybe you put everyone else’s happiness above your own because focusing on yourself would be selfish, right? Well I can tell you until I am blue in the face that it is not selfish to put yourself first. But the crux of the matter is that you need to believe it yourself. I can work with you so that you start believing in yourself, that you are good enough and that you are worthy of caring for yourself.
Loss – many believe that loss is related to bereavement. A loved one dying. This is of course a loss. But loss comes in a variety of forms. You may have recently become divorced or experienced a relationship break up. You may have lost your job or recently retired. Maybe you are a mum and your kids have all now left home.
Sometimes those things that you had, felt like it defined you. You were a mum, or an accountant, or a husband. Maybe you were strong and independent but a health diagnosis has changed that. So, who are you now? What is your sense of purpose in life? I can help you through this loss. I will give you that safe space to process that change and to help you recognise who you are and what you want to do.
I also work within the following areas:
Emotional issues such as anger, anxiety, low self confidence, low self esteem, loneliness, stress and suicidal thoughts.
Childhood trauma such as sexual abuse, emotional neglect, living with a parent with addiction and parent abandonment.
Adults affected by adoption - I am a trained adoption support therapist.
Relationship issues such as bereavement, bullying, domestic violence, emotional abuse, family issues, physical abuse, separation, and divorce.
Health issues such as health anxiety, post-natal depression, pregnancy and birth, carer support and young carers support.
Work related issues such as workplace bullying, disability discrimination, work related stress and redundancy.
I can also work with issues around sexuality and gender.
Here are some of my qualifications:
CPCAB Level 4 Diploma in Integrative Counselling
Complex Trauma Certification Training Level 1 & 2 (CCTP/CCTP-II) Course with Janina Fisher
Certificate in Adoption Support Counselling
Repairing Attachment Trauma: Advanced Approaches for Deep Healing and Post-traumatic Growth
Dealing With Distress - Suicide and Self Harm
Mental Health First Aid
NCFE Cache Level 2 Certificate in Awareness of Mental Health Problems